We can never fully know or understand how we affect others. Like cogs in a machine, each turn or movement that a cog makes affects the whole system. We might say something to one person and it may influence them to show up differently in their family. The ripple effect may spread even further. It is prudent to not question every movement that you make, every conversation that you have, every way that you notice others responding to you. For you don’t really know what will come of your words and your actions. 

My clients often say that they worry about how others perceive them. The concern may seem shallow on the surface, but often the worry is about being hurtful to another. They want to be kind, healing forces in the world, and yet, they know that at times they can cause hurt or harm. Commonly, we hear the phrase, “hurt people hurt people and healed people heal people.” In my experience, we all can be hurt and healed, and we can all also hurt others and heal others. In essence, it is ALL part of the human experience! Some truthful words that you speak might cause discomfort in another but might ultimately move that person to healing or shifting something inside themselves. Likewise, an act of kindness might be received in a way that causes pain. We cannot control others’ responses or reactions. 

Maybe the most important thing to do is to trust that you are part of something much bigger than yourself. Ask yourself, what would you like to bring of yourself to humanity? Would you like to bring kindness, change, healing, lightness, love, laughter? Utilize that intention in your words and actions and know that it won’t be perfect but trust that you are doing your small part.