How to build a roadmap to express yourself when it matters most

Silence = Violence. We have all read this on recent protest signs and in the writings of the leaders in the movement for justice and anti-racism. This statement has been a call for a new collective consciousness. Fighting racism requires expression. Justice requires voice. Staying silent in the face of injustice results in violence. Distressingly, we have witnessed this violence, time and again. In the case of justice, it is essential to amplify the voices that are leading this moment. We know that following and amplification does not mean, however, that those of us who are not leaders right now are to stifle our voices. Everyone’s voice is important when human life and dignity are on the line.

Silence also creates a more insidious result. To stay silent in one’s own life causes violence towards oneself. This kind of violence is less apparent. It is an internal “snuffing out” of something essential in each of us. When we stifle our expression, it can cause shame and even a sense of worthlessness. Essentially, we play small. Like turtles shrinking into their shells, their necks are protected but they find themselves confined to a tight space. Humans are meant to express ourselves and share ourselves with others. We are not meant to hide in our shells and stay alone, small and disconnected. In essence, staying silent results in harm to ourselves, and harming ourselves is a kind of violence that has a ripple-like effect. From a silenced and shameful place, a person affects everyone around them. Conversely, finding one’s voice has the potential to bring about great change and inspiration.

In addition to the violence that our silence creates, there is another important reason to find your voice. Each of us possesses a unique offering that others may NEED in any given moment. We like to think of ourselves as having less power than we actually have. However, in a moment of sharing your voice or yourself in some way, another person might be saved. When a person feels alone and isolated, another person’s voice or expression of truth can become a lifeline. Often we feel that we are carrying a weight around and someone else’s expression or voice significantly lightens this load. We notice that we are not alone in our ideas, stories and thoughts. In my women’s workshops, I have noticed this power many times. A person shares what they are thinking or feeling or a story about themselves and the rest of the women breathe a collective sigh of relief. The connection and voice have unleashed a sense of freedom for the others in the group. We each have powerful truths inside that are waiting to be unleashed.

Finding your voice takes exploration. It requires dedication. To begin, you must create a roadmap. Here are 7 important keys to consider as you design your roadmap:

1. Finding your voice means sharing yourself with others in small or large ways. One can share their vision, opinion, story or viewpoint. There is not a “one size fits all” way to do it. How you use your voice is up to you! You might simply use your voice more in conversation. In moments when you would often stay quiet, you find a way to express yourself to others. Your voice might guide you to make art or to be more creative in your work sphere. And nowadays, there are ample opportunities for expression online using social media. We all have something unique to convey.

2. As you move along your path to find your voice, keep in mind that there is no urgency. Do it on your own timeframe and take your time with it! The internal work to find your voice is as important as the expression of your voice. Your path may lead you to seek further education. Learning from others who have voices that resonate with you can be essential to finding your unique voice. You may also feel the need to take a self-reflective and introspective pilgrimage. Finding the truths that you are meant to share with others is not something to rush.

3. Explore and follow what it is that YOU care about and what brings YOU energy. You may be tempted to follow other voices that you respect or admire. You may be feeling an obligation to certain messages given by your family, culture or society. Notice all of these magnetic forces in your life and examine how they feel to you. Your true voice that wants expression gives you energy. When you find your true voice, you will feel passionate and energized.

4. Don’t view other voices as your competition. If someone thinks like you or has a similar story to tell, view that person as a potential collaborator. You may have synchronous ideas and can create something powerful together or support one another’s creations. If you feel jealous of someone else’s expression, use that feeling as kindling for your creative fire.

5. You don’t have to be an expert to have a voice! Let me repeat this. You don’t have to be an expert to have a voice! Knowledge and learning are potent sources for expression, but keep in mind that you are an expert on yourself… on your story, on your feelings, on your ideas.

6. You may make more “mistakes” when you find your voice because it is a courageous and vulnerable endeavor. When you are courageous and vulnerable you will open yourself up to feedback. You may be corrected or find that you have expressed something “wrong”. Often, these experiences can be an opportunity for significant growth. While staying safe and quiet, you can always remain “right”. Being right is overrated, however. Staying safe does not allow for growth and change. Sharing yourself with others has the potential to move mountains.

7. Your shame voice will get louder! Every person who is finding their voice notices a version of the internal question… “Who do you think you are?” Have some amusement with this voice and view it as a sign that you are moving in the right direction. You are being bold in exploring yourself and you are daring to express yourself. It is a very big step and that internal shame voice, that tries to keep us safe and protected, will get all fired up.

Our world needs us to speak up about who we are, what we know and what we care about right now. It needs us to lift up voices that have not been listened to and support those voices with our truths. In this way, the injustices and collective divisions have the potential for healing. Without our engagement, we remain stagnant. Each of us is a powerful source of connection and healing. Finding your voice and sharing it is a journey that we can all take together.